i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
