Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
A bitchslap is in order.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
