Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I queefed so loud it echoed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
