eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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