her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
