maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
