Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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