I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
