you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
