Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to have your abortion
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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