Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
