You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
