ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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