I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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