I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
