so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
