YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
