So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
