My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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