Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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