I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
