And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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