But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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