We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
