I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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