Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Never underestimate the power of titties
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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