i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
