i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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