Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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