I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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