Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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