like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
