I wanna passion pit in your ass
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
