You really coming over, don't trick.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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