at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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