i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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