he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
