dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We're too hungover to prance.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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