Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
