Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
