C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
