I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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