Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
