I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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