i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize