There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize