opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
NoShamevember. You game?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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