Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
