all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
