love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
