I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
