it wasn't lemon gatorade
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize