She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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