glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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