I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
