i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
