so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
