i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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