plz talk dirty to me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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