Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How does one acquire holy water?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
