so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she told me i tasted like america
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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