FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
