so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
