well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
