he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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