Non-Jews are for practice
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am one with the molecules
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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