Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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