I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
