What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
