Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
