I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
