The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just google imaged poop.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
