i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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