she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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