I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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