yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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